Another Day in the Country

Still the season for giving

By PAT WICK

Contributing writer

Usually forgiveness is one word but I like to see it as two words — for giving. Because forgiveness is a gift of expansive generosity, an openhanded present, a surprising exuberant award. The very act of planning a gift, presenting the gift (and the joy it brings) is a gift to the giver as well as the receiver.

These last few days of 2010 are a great time to forgive, to just clear the floor, sweep out the trash, the hurts, the sadness, so that we have room to move fresh new things into our hearts, our minds, our lives.

Here goes: I’m forgiving anyone whose actions were hurtful to me this past year, whether they understood what they were doing or not, whether it was to my face or behind my back, and even if they published it in the newspaper. Forgiven!

I’m also forgiving stupidity and ignorance and expressing thankfulness for the lessons I’ve learned.

I’m forgiving myself for patience when it was unwarranted and hope in hopeless situations. Isn’t it strange how difficult it is to forgive ourselves, how endlessly we chastise ourselves for imperfection, our inability to change things, our workaholic ways, that 10 pounds we gained, the third cookie? All forgiven! I feel lighter already, just saying that — my breath went deeper, the fresh air smelled more fragrant, and I’m smiling.

All day — let’s try all week — I’ve been searching for things to forgive; it’s actually better than Christmas! I forgive the politicians for creating a ruckus; they’re doing the best they can. I’m for giving the President another chance — even Congress. I forgive those doctors who only know how to hand out pills instead of preaching preventive maintenance. I’m forgiving myself for my usual sins — not exercising, poor flossing. I forgive myself for my messy desk drawers and that pile of unfinished stuff on the counter. Forgiven. This gives me a chance to actually look at it instead of just ignoring it and feeling guilty.

Sometimes I wish I were a millionaire or a lottery winner. I could then give much more expansive gifts, maybe change my world. My sister dreams the latter, and envisions setting up a trust for people in town (when she holds that winning ticket) so that anyone who needed a leg up to make their homes and property the best it can be would get a lift. We all need a lift!

“Forgiveness is for giving another chance!” she reminds me.

I’m for giving Jess the chance to keep on dreaming and I’m buying her another lottery ticket.

For many of us, this time between Christmas and New Year’s Day is the season to clean out our homes and throw away old, unneeded stuff. It gave me a real boost to hear a commentator talking about this subject on my favorite Sunday morning show.

“Hey, he’s doing it too,” I hollered.

I felt so affirmed.

He recommended we “clean out our hearts and heads of things that are heavy and take up space: resentment, grudges, anger. Throw away bad feelings at anyone who we feel angry at because they slighted us or belittled us — they’re just people, after all, just as we are. How much sunnier and roomier our hearts are if we just get rid of everything that is blocking the light — it isn’t even heavy lifting.”

I loved that quote about blocking the light. He went on to say that he forgave the people close to him who never thanked him for the roof he kept over their head, and even those fringe folk who made up fantasies about him in the media and spread it around like manure.

“I like forgiving them,” he said. “It makes me feel like a slightly better person than the ordinary person I am.”

There you have it — another voice encouraging us to forgive.

And here you thought you’d crossed every name off Santa’s list and delivered all the presents. It’s another day in the country, a good time for giving yourself the best gift of all — forgiving!