Another Day in the Country
Being bossed around
Contributing writer
How many of you like being bossed around? Have you noticed how often this is occurring in your life? Let’s face it; you are bossed around quite a bit. No matter how independent you think you are, you are being bossed constantly. (Did that sound too adamant? Was it getting close to bossiness? Sorry!)
Bossiness, as the word “boss” implies, comes with the territory of being the one in charge, the one responsible. Because of this, children have to endure being bossed because they are in training — they don’t know any better. Teachers have to be bossy (at first, usually) to ensure that lessons are learned and order is maintained. The goal is for children to grow more independent and require less bossiness.
I really disliked being bossed around when I was a child. I loved learning new things, getting it right, hearing “a job well done,” and compliments. However, when Mom was bossy about how I held the broom when I swept the floor, or how tight I curled my hair when I was a teenager, I didn’t like it at all!
When I got my first job away from home, I didn’t mind being bossed, as I recall. I was eager to learn how to do yard work for this woman; but when Dad bossed me about how I mowed the lawn at home, I dug in my heels.
If you are going to be bossed, what you want is a good boss, one who pays attention, asks for your input, and leads you toward success. C’mon, count them up. How many good bosses have you had in your life? What made them that way? Think about it.
I remember being called into the boss’s office, in another lifetime when I was a young preacher’s wife. Perhaps I’ve told you, that to begin with, I was a preacher’s daughter and then in a moment of weakness married a young theological student and found myself suddenly a preacher’s wife — something I’d vowed I would never be. Well, early on, something happened in our church district and the conference president called my husband (and his wife) into the office for a chat.
My young ministerial husband was dutifully acquiescent to his superior (boss) but I had some questions. I’d grown up in a preacher’s family and I knew the politics of a preacher’s life. I wanted more information about the circumstances of our discussion. As I pressed for answers, I saw my husband’s boss write in his notes, “authority resistant.” Well now, was this true? Yep, if asking questions was being authority resistant, I was guilty. However, I happen to believe that asking questions is a good thing. I also thought this guy was a lousy boss. While most people treated him like God, he wasn’t.
It isn’t just people who do the bossing. Have you noticed how many areas of your life are bossed by machines? (To whom, by the way, you can’t ask questions.) My car bosses me around. Every time I get in, it bosses me to fasten my seat belt (which I dislike) and it keeps nagging until I comply. One time this very same car decided to stop when I was on the way to the garage for emergency repairs. I was one block from my destination and the car said, “We’re stopping,” and it shut off the motor automatically. I was definitely not in charge, couldn’t do a thing, and bossed by a car!
“It’s just what they do nowadays,” the mechanic said as I walked the block and delivered the keys.
My answering machine bosses me, beeping every few minutes until I check the messages.
“I’m not interested,” I mutter to myself. “I really don’t want to talk right now” and the machine keeps going, “Beep!” The microwave bosses me to get my hot tea out, “Your food is ready,” says the message, “Beep.” “So? I’ll get it when I’m ready, thank you very much.”
One of the reasons that I chose a country lifestyle was to get away from having a boss! I love the independence of working at my own pace, getting up when I choose which translates into not being bossed by an alarm clock or someone else’s schedule. Sure, I’ll be responsible, I’ll cooperate, I’ll work with you, volunteer; but I really like being my own boss, for as long as I can.
There’s the key phrase, “for as long as I can.” There is coming a time, I know, in the aging life cycle, when this independent streak must be tamed in favor of ever more responsible cooperation. I have to rename the phenomena, practice more graciousness, on another day in the country. It’s the only way to keep from being bossed.