Staff writer
My experience with Parents as Teachers, as a parent, has spanned two towns. Our parent educator in the Kansas City area became an invaluable support to me as a new mother. When my husband and I moved to Marion, one of the first things we did was get our names on the waiting list for the Parents as Teachers group that serves Marion. For me, the program is a lifeline of information, encouragement, and reassurance that I can’t find anywhere else.
My daughter was a miracle baby born into a worst-case scenario situation for us — Michael and I were both unemployed and living with my parents. I grew into my role as a mother in a high-stress environment with a lot of input, both welcome and unwelcome, from other adults.
With our move to Marion, suddenly we were a new family of three, on our own, both parents working, living in the first house we had ever owned. In many ways, it was like bringing a newborn home for the first time. It was wonderful and absolutely terrifying.
Living with three other adults for most of her first year had been great for keeping her entertained, not-so-great for me learning to trust my own instincts.
I remember one morning, shortly before we were to have our first visit with our Marion parent educator, Ronda, Lyla was clearly bored — with everything. Every new thing I tried elicited a cry, and not in a fussy/teething/normal way, in a “Mommy-I’m-so-over-all-this” way. Gulp!
When Ronda pulled up, it took everything inside of me not to throw my arms around her and say “Help! I’m lost!”
Ronda stepped in and threw me a lifeline.
She gave me affirmation that I needed, even in little decisions I’d agonized over.
Ronda is another voice, an informed one, who can look at my daughter and tell me she’s doing great or she’s ready to try something that I have been unsure about.
Ronda is somebody who will look at something small that Lyla is doing and celebrate it with us.
Ronda gives me ideas on how to play with my daughter and make simple objects into toys. That’s a big help when you’re chasing a 1-year-old all day, working, keeping a household together, and have a concept of “fun time” that is basically limited to showers longer than two minutes.
The developmental information I get from Ronda is also important to me because it is presented in a unique way that appeals to me as a parent — I like to know what’s happening in Lyla’s little baby brain.
For instance, I notice when she stops mouthing things as much and begins to explore more with her hands, but I don’t know why. Ronda can tell me that Lyla’s hands are starting to send more detailed information to her brain about how something feels.
It turns a simple thing like watching her feel the ridges in a block into a moment of connection where I can see Lyla becoming. I can literally watch her growing into the person she will be, right in the moment that her changing and growing is happening.
I want to be that kind of parent — a witness to her becoming, somebody who celebrates with cheers and clapping every time those little pieces of her story are falling into place.
Parents as Teachers helps me be that witness, and brings a parent educator into my home who will see and celebrate all those things with me — a partner in seeing and celebrating my kid on a cell-deep level.
Pretty amazing.