Another Day in the Country
Personal experience
© Another Day in the Country
Personal experience counts. To really know some things in life — like parenting, for instance — you have to experience them.
I was an adult for more than a decade before I became a parent. I had a long list of ideas as to what parents should do and how kids should act. Then I became a parent. Experience taught me more than anything I could have imagined.
Am I glad I did it? Yes! It was the best thing I did in my whole life.
Would I want to do it again? Not now! Parenting seems even more difficult. Kids have to grow up too fast.
My grandson is a senior in high school. The pressure on him to declare what he wants to be is immense.
This summer, when he was here visiting, he spent hours on the computer researching college options and what to declare as a major field of interest.
What on earth does he know? He is a smart kid, consistently taking advanced classes, but he hasn’t had a job of any kind yet.
He does know how to do his own laundry. He’s taken care of his chickens since he was 10. He knows how to make ramen. He brushes his teeth and finishes his assignments without being prompted, has good manners, makes his bed every day without question, and has his driver’s license.
But he hasn’t a clue what he wants to do in the future. And it seems he’s expected to make that decision within a few months and begin applying for college admission, hopefully with scholarships available because tuition is outlandishly expensive.
The pressure is visible on his young, awkward frame. After all, he’s grown more than a foot this last year.
His mind is razor sharp and retains information that seems to hurtle toward him at light speed.
Is it any wonder that teenagers look a little dazed these days and don’t know how to make eye contact? They’ve grown up with their nose in a computer, and now they are being asked to face the real world.
I remember my senior year in high school. Life was still pretty plodding in comparison to 2024. I couldn’t imagine the year 2000 let alone 24 years beyond.
I did know I’d be going to college. Coming from my religious upbringing, I knew I’d be going to a Christian college, where most of the other students would be coming from good Christian families like mine, and we all knew the same definitions of right and wrong and pretty much agreed on them.
My job was going to be to learn some skill to support myself and find a Christian husband. According to my dad, I had two years to do it.
I decided to focus on secretarial duties because typing and organizing were things I’d learned to do in high school, and I liked doing them.
I didn’t have the foggiest notion whether I’d be able to attract a mate.
In my senior year of high school, I’d just broken up with my first boyfriend and seriously wondered whether I’d ever find a better model.
I was tall, gangly, and shy and had no clue as to whom I’d room with in a college dorm. All my friends in high school were a year behind me.
I was scared about the future, unsure of my own skills, but taking one step at a time.
By comparison, my grandson is being hurled forward at rocket speed, with no time for a misstep.
I have a lot of empathy for this kid in his senior year, with a million more ideas, possibilities, and plans streaming into his consciousness than I ever had to deal with.
I also have a lot of empathy for my daughter and all good parents who are trying to raise good kids. They need all the encouragement and support we can give them.
Speaking of experience, you and I have never experienced a lot of things. We can’t do it all!
Have you ever been a teacher or even a member of a board? Have you run for an office or sat on a city council? Were you ever the mayor of your town? Have you been a reporter for a newspaper or tried writing an editorial? Have you been a sheriff or firefighter? Have you been responsible, taken the lead, spoken up, told the truth, apologized for an error, or made amends in public?
If you’ve had experience with any of the above, you’ll know what the job entails. These are public service jobs, a little like parenting.
While you are going through it, no one involved is thanking you. While you are standing up for something that you deem important or protecting someone else’s right to speak their mind or doing the best that you know how, you probably will be misunderstood, judged wrongly, tried and convicted in the court of public opinion.
It’s another day in the country, and in a couple of weeks we will vote to support those public servants. We’ve all had the experience of voting. Voting is the most important thing we can do in our democracy. It’s saying to public officials, “I believe in you!” which is what we should also tell ourselves and say to our loved ones every single day!