Higher calling: Life s experiences assist mortician in profession
Staff reporter
Personal tragedy has given Lucy Stansbury special insight to her profession.
Lucy is an embalmer and funeral director at Zeiner Funeral Home and made the decision to be in this profession because of a "calling."
"I heard a speech about the profession of being a funeral director and felt like the man was talking directly to me," Lucy said. She considers that revelation to be a special calling to her.
An Oklahoma native, Lucy graduated from Ponca City High School in 1993. She attended the University of Central Oklahoma at Edmond as an accounting major.
During the second semester, Lucy decided accounting wasn't for her.
Following her decision to change directions in her career, she worked as an apprentice in a local funeral home. Lucy graduated in 1997 with a bachelor of science degree in funeral service from UCO.
In Oklahoma, it is common for funeral directors also to be embalmers; so, she became an embalmer as well.
Lucy's first job was for a cooperative funeral home in southwest Oklahoma.
"It served residents within a 100-mile radius," Lucy said. There were 500 residents in the community but the home received 130 calls per year.
"It was a neat job to start with," Lucy said.
She eventually became the manager of two funeral homes in Oklahoma.
During that time, Lucy met John Meadows and they married. When she became pregnant with daughter Anna Elizabeth, Lucy became a stay-at-home mom.
Anna was born Aug. 22, 2001. Two months following her daughter's birth, Lucy's husband was involved in a tragic truck accident.
"John suffered brain stem injury," Lucy recalled.
The young wife and mother took her gravely injured husband to Mississippi to be closer to his family.
John remained in a coma for more than a year. He died Dec. 15, 2002.
"When John died, I thought 'There is no way I can go back to my profession'," Lucy said.
A funeral director in Ponca City offered Lucy a job.
"I wasn't sure if I could do it," Lucy remembers. "The first few times were difficult."
She said the first funeral she planned upon her return was for a young man.
Lucy's tragedy gave her special insight in helping the family plan the funeral.
"It wasn't easy but I knew this was where I was supposed to be," Lucy said.
Things began to look up for the young mother.
Lucy met Mark Stansbury of Marion County and they married in February 2004.
Today, Lucy and Mark are expecting a baby in June.
Mark works at Donahue Ranch and they bought a house on Elm Street in Marion.
As a funeral director, Lucy is trained to assist families in making funeral preparations such as choosing a casket and vault, and preparing the deceased for burial or cremation.
While Lucy is pregnant, she does not perform any embalming.
She likes assisting families and carrying out the wishes of the deceased.
"I'll do whatever the family requests to grant the wishes of the deceased," Lucy said.
Women as embalmers and funeral directors are becoming more common. When Lucy attended college in the early 1990s, she said the ratio was 60:40, men to women. Now it's about half and half.
"Some people think I'm the secretary," Lucy said with a laugh, "but after they visit with me and become comfortable with me, they realize I can handle their arrangements."
When the baby is born, Lucy said she will take about a month off from work.
The young professional woman has it all now — a husband, child, baby on-the- way, and a meaningful career.
Life's experiences sometimes can be more valuable than education.
"After experiencing such a tremendous loss at a young age, I know this was what I am supposed to do," Lucy said.
