In and out
By PAT WICK
© Another Day in the Country
Sometimes, living in the country, one feels incredibly out-of-touch. The outside world whirls on at an incredible pace and my little town twists at a slower rate. There's a way that I attempt to keep track of what is going on elsewhere — I read.
We don't get a lot of magazines at our house so Tony gives me his "Time" magazine when he's finished with it. Tooltime Tim brings me "The Week" — a magazine I like a lot, but he can't quite figure out why he's getting. Mom doesn't appreciate the new "Reader's Digest" format so she tosses it my direction. Frances doesn't use the "TV Guide," which is in such a new interesting format it rivals "People," so I look it over. I peruse "Oprah" and "Martha Stewart Living." Jessica stashes her old copies of "Entertainment" magazine in the bathroom along with "Vanity Fair" for general usage. This keeps me occupied!
And then we started getting "Bazaar." I'm as baffled about this magazine as TTT is about his unexpected reading material. Why are we getting this magazine in the country? If the pages of this periodical mirror the wider world, I'm in trouble. As I turned the pages of this magazine, I realized that the world of "Bazaar" was a whole new world, for me. To make it extremely simple for the reader, they have several pages that tell me "what's in" and "what's out." Vital statistics for any country-dweller.
For instance: Did you know that white is in for spring? Betty loves wearing white. I've got to remember to tell her how marvelously in she is in the fashion world!
The only problem is that white, in the country, for me, Miss Messy, is severely impractical. When I moved here from California I had an off-white trench/rain coat I literally lived in when I cruised the Napa Valley. Sadly, even off-white in Ramona proved to be a challenge. All it takes is one swipe of a muddy running board when you are getting in or out of your car and off-white is headed for the washing machine.
Bags are in! Bags that are expensive with fancy name brands attached are especially in. I discovered on the pages of my magazine that if you can't afford a really good bag with price tags in the hundreds of dollars, you can rent one. It's true. And just in case you are bag-shopping — it's the white bags that deliver a double whammy.
The "ins and outs" go beyond accessories. On page 68 they informed me that regular pencils are out and inspiring pencils with messages on them are in. Formal flower arrangements are out, mini vases in delightful colors are in. Platform shoes are in, spiky heels are out. Ruffles are in, tight tank tops are out (we knew this). Sashes were in last month and hard-edged studded belts were out. This month big belts are in and so are puffy sleeves. Keeping up could do you in! It seems to me that I should find that box of old clothes from about 20 years ago that was relegated to the costume box. Some of that stuff that I threw out is sure to be back in.
Last week's "Time" magazine gave me another dose of in and out. "Modesty is in as designers actually cover up their models," read the headline. I figured, that was the only real change they could make after suggesting we wear our underwear — that all good country folk know belongs on the inside — on the outside.
Despite the subject of this column, I've always been a pretty practical person, paying little attention to the ins and outs of fashion. Being in the country has made this penchant more pronounced. My list of ins and outs says that jeans — preferably black, stretch jeans — are in because they don't show dirt and are extremely flexible. Boots are in because they keep my feet warm. Down coats are in until about April so I don't freeze. Gloves are in so long as they are in my pocket. I don't have to worry about vases this time of year because there aren't many flowers blooming. And as for pencils? The only thing I require is that the pencil have a good eraser!
Even my sister eschewed her high heels for Fat Boy boots this winter without a backward glance. More and more she's turning her back on the in scene even though she worries just a little about the ramifications. Looking over my shoulder as I glanced through magazines she saw an ad saying "Saks loves to throw a curve," "Hmph," she snorted looking at the model all dressed in white — "That's no curve! That's a stick!"
Yep, darlin' it's in to tell it like it is. After all, we're out spending another day in the country. Some people would say, we're the ones who are Baz-aar.
