LETTERS: Actions not for show
To the Editor:
This is written in response to the "Another Day in the Country" column about a gravesite in Ramona being "showy."
First of all, the white rocks on my parents' grave was my mother's idea. She loved the white rock and had mentioned that when she was to die, she would like to have the white rock on top of their graves.
My brother, LeRoy Sader came from Wichita to help me decorate the graves of our parents. He would bring large flower arrangements. He liked a lot of flowers. As the years passed by and the flowers he brought faded and broke apart, I would purchase similar ones to replace them on the grave as he wanted.
My other brother, Alvin Sader made a wooden cross that had pink flowers on it. I have put this cross on our parents' grave for more than 22 years. He made it after our mom died. It has fallen apart but has been fixed each year so that it stands proudly on the gravesite.
The flowers are not on display nor are they for show. They are gifts of love and remembrance.
We put a flower on the gravesite of Jerry Novatony, my mother's neighbor. He was a friend to all. If we did not share our flowers, the grave would be bare every year. We do this out of thoughtfulness and kindness to a man who also would have done this for others.
Children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren bring new flowers to add each year.
It is up to each individual family how they wish to remember their loved ones who have gone before them.
We admire many beautiful flower arrangements on surrounding graves. It is what the family has chosen to do to remember them.
We hope that no one will "chuckle" over our decorated graves. For this is OUR way to remember and honor OUR families.
We decorate about 24 graves each year. We first decorate at Lewis Cemetery, then travel out in the country to a small cemetery where my mother's little brother is buried to decorate his grave, per my mother's wishes to keep up decorating this grave each year so he always will be remembered. Then we travel to Pilsen to decorate the graves of my husband's family.
We put flowers on their graves with love and admiration — not for show.
The tombstones in the various cemeteries vary in size and shape. You could say that some would be classified as "showy" — however, they are a tribute to loved ones and not a showpiece to be made fun of.
Flowers will adorn my parents' graves on special days such as birthdays, Christmas, Easter, etc., and all the time. We believe you should remember them always — not just on Memorial Day.
This year we were blessed on Memorial Day to have a killdeer bird lay her eggs and guard them with love on my parents' grave. It truly was a beautiful site.
Anna Mae (Sader) Stika
and the descendants of the
Alex and Anna Sader family
