Living in organized chaos
Organizational skills are valuable assets for just about everything. Whether it's running a household, a business, or just going to school, it helps to be organized.
Combining an organized personality with a disorganized personality is like mixing oil and water. Something has to come out on top — and it isn't always for the better.
My girls are like oil and water. Daughter #1 is super-organized, super-efficient, super-responsible.
The Younger One is the exact opposite — she doesn't appear to be organized or efficient. She has, however, come a long way in the responsibility department.
When the girls were small we had a "play room" where they kept their toys. Both girls had a few dolls but mostly they spent their time playing with dishes and a Lil' Tykes kitchen. Grandpa built them cabinets to store the dishes. Of course, the cabinets were used for other things — like puzzles, books, and rocks. The dishes were stored in piles on the closet floor.
Needless to say, Mom spent untold hours moving books and puzzles (and throwing rocks outside) so the little plates and cups could be stacked and organized in the little cabinets. An hour or so later, things would be back to "normal" — piles of dishes in the closet and more rocks on the shelves.
Eventually, they outgrew the playroom and it was converted into a bedroom for Daughter #1. About then a miraculous change came about — she learned how to keep her room clean. Hence, the beginning of her super organizational skills!
I never had to coax, cajole, or threaten her to clean her room. She just kept it clean. The laundry was put away. Books were stacked on shelves. The bed was made. Blankets were folded. I thought my obsessive stacking of little plates and cups had paid off — I had an organized child!
I eagerly awaited the transformation of the Younger One from messy kid to organized individual. I am still waiting.
If nothing else, her lack of organizational skills has caused me to relax my standards and realize there are degrees of organization.
The Younger One exists in the realm of "organized chaos." I came to this conclusion after I found myself washing the same laundry time after time. I'd get the hamper from her room, sort it, wash it, dry it, fold it, and put it back in her room. A few days later I'd repeat the process. I'm embarrassed to say it took awhile for me to figure out she was just stacking it back in the hamper.
It all looks the same to me but she assures me she knows what's clean and what isn't. With a heavy sigh and a roll of the eyes, she explained to her simple-minded mother that the hamper contains clean laundry, the pile on the floor in front of the door is dirty, and if it's in the dresser or the closet that means she probably won't be wearing it again. Makes perfect sense to her.
Since she's a teen-ager and has a reasonable understanding of the operation of the washer and dryer I decided she could be responsible for her own laundry.
Maybe I was a slow learner but I decided to try another approach. I gathered up the trash and took it out to the garbage can. How was I to know the newspapers and magazines piled in the middle of the floor were for homework? I should have realized it — they were right next to the textbooks, empty pizza boxes, and half-full cans of soda.
I don't give up easily but I've learned to pick my battles. Living with the Younger One's "organized chaos" is fine — I just have to remember to keep the door closed.
— DONNA BERNHARDT
