Meanderings: Rat a tat tat
It started out like a normal day. But then, while walking into Marion Elementary School, I bumped into teacher Denae Flaming, who teaches fifth grade.
"We're doing an experiment with rats," she said.
"Hats?" I asked.
"Rats," she said.
"Wraps?" I asked. I heard her right the first time. I just didn't believe her.
Since Flaming teaches fifth grade, she is a woman of infinite patience, and finally got me settled down enough to understand that there really are six rats in the fifth grade classrooms.
I dropped by last week for rat feeding time, which happens to be just after student feeding time.
The rats are great big gray wharf rats, each weighing at least five pounds, with red eyes, snaggle-tooths, and battle scars.
Not really. They're little tiny white lab rats. They arrived Feb. 8 and live in comfy cages with plenty of wood shavings for bedding.
The control rat (you don't name lab experiments, for goodness sakes) eats healthy meals representing the major food groups: fruit, vegetables, grains, and meat.
While I was there, he munched on a cherry and nibbled a green pea out of student Frankie Clarke's hand, all the while squeaking like an old fan belt.
Test Rat gets potato chips, soft drinks, and donuts. He doesn't look healthy, but he does have a happy grin.
If the experiment works like everyone expects, Control Rat grows normally, while Test Rat remains stunted. I suspect Control Rat works out on its exercise wheel and brags about it to Test Rat (joggers are insufferable to be around, no matter what the species).
After two weeks, milk is added to Test Rat's diet. Now you understand why the project is underwritten by Midland Dairy Council. Test Rat starts to grow and his coat improves. At the end of four weeks, he goes on a healthy diet, and the change is even more noticeable.
It's a startling demonstration in the impact of diet. Ideally, the kids better understand that a diet rich in soft drinks and chips turns you into the human equivalent of Test Rat.
I just hope no one plans to run experiments on bubonic plague. Control Rat sure looked upset when no one gave him any brownies.
— MATT NEWHOUSE
