Miscellany: Reality 101, taking first-born to college years ago
We took our first-born to enroll at K-State. That's quite a procedure.
Walking in the door, "student assistants" shuffle kids one way and guide parents (who can't see where they are going because they are crying too hard) to a big auditorium. Either that, or they are trying to keep the parents from sneaking back out the door without their kid. I never figured that out.
A welcoming committee proceeds to say your kids will be homesick but they'll get over it. You'll miss them, but you'll get over it. And, it's going to be expensive, so get over it. And by the way, four in five students change their majors several times before they are sophomores.
Parents wander off to attend a few informational sessions about topics from financial aid, to what kind of computer to buy your kid, to housing choices.
After that you get to stand under a sign hanging from the ceiling that is your kid's choice of major. The biggest group by far, is "undeclared."
The same student assistants lead parents to a room to meet up with your kid to hear about the majors they have chosen. Information overload. If your kid will change his major why bother listening?
After they throw all this information at you they send you to meet with an honest-to-God adviser.
By this time, the first-born was in her "no-nonsense" mode so she walked into the adviser's office, whipped out a piece of paper, said "These are the classes I want, sign me up."
A few clicks of the mouse later she was declared an official "college student," fully enrolled, with a student ID, checking account, parking permit, football tickets, and oh yes, a crushing load of classes.
And debt, did I mention debt?
Because you just put all this on your "student account" and pay later when your scholarships and financial aid becomes available.
Talk about real-life experience. Click the button, a blink of the eye, and BAM! you're $250 poorer but you have football tickets for the whole season! Life is definitely good for a college student.
And that crushing class load
Her classes sound interesting — psychology, sociology, economics, human development, and one just for kicks — architecture appreciation — because she needed an elective. I suppose it's better than basket-weaving 101.
If they want to give college students "real-life" experience they ought to be jarring them awake at 6 a.m., getting them in the classroom by 8 and keeping them there with till 7 or 8 at night. Allow a 15-minute break where they spend time searching for quarters for the vending machine or standing with their noses pressed against the glass catching a short nap.
THAT's real life.
— DONNA BERNHARDT
