New-fangled gidge-gadgets
By PAT WICK
© Another Day in the Country
Almost everything we own nowadays was a new gadget at one time or another. The car I drove to the office, the earth shoes that I walk around on, the Mac computer that I'm writing on now. And woe be unto all of us who have had to make the adjustment to use them.
My mother remembers the onset of the car. I've already told you the story about her driving around and around her parents' farmhouse west of Ramona because she'd forgotten how to stop this new contraption. Her sister Anna was hollering from the upstairs porch, "push the brake, push the brake," but Martha couldn't remember which pedal was which and she knew that one made her go faster. Finally she careened into the lilac bush at the edge of the porch and stopped the car.
There's an office full of equipment around me — some pieces work better than others. At the moment I have a scanner that's so complicated I fear it will take a doctorate in foolish technology just to run it effectively. I have a brand new, expensive, state-of-the-art printer that we've been pulling our hair out over only to discover that it was defective from the factory and I have a computer that people generally don't have in the country.
All of this means that my new gidge-gadgets require massive explanation — especially since they don't come with instruction books anymore.
And to top it all off, they took our defective printer, replaced it with a new one (via UPS), and neglected to send back ink. Guess how far we have to drive to get ink? We have equipment, but we can't print! So much for gidge-gadgets.
Oh, I completely forgot to put our latest cell phones on the list which make us sound like a commercial for, "Can you hear me now?" We tried to stay clear of the latest new-fangled additions like cameras and slide tops — gave up on games since all of them have some now — and still our phones lose connection and are filled with static. "What good is a gadget if it doesn't accomplish what gadgets are for?" we ask one another in dismay.
This frustration isn't new. Every new gadget from Delco battery-powered refrigerators to modern Maytags have required some adjustment — two steps forward, one step back. My grandpa installed carbide lights years ago out on the farm, which neighbors probably thought was either a waste of money or dangerous gidge-gadgets — and for some it was both.
We had guests over the weekend at Cousin's Corner discussing the latest gadget on cars that gives you directions to wherever you want to go — even to Ramona! What next?
Seriously, I thought we gave up Palm Pilots and beepers when we came back to the country, but they are invading our solitude, seductive in their intrusion.
We have a house, on the outskirts of Ramona that we call Green Acres. It's named after that use-to-be television show. It has no electricity, phone service, or sewer hook-up. There's still an outhouse and a storm cellar, however. This house is yet to be rehabilitated and when it is, we're making it a retreat from gidge-gadgets — right now we're deciding just how much "primitive" folks can tolerate. We figure that at Green Acres, you might as well capitalize on the resources we have — a roof, a floor, a view, an idea, and nostalgia!
Surely there are people like me who want to get as far away as possible from technology hounding them even when they just want to go to the bathroom! Yes, we can make non-functioning cell phones an asset! I'm sure there are folk who would like to explain to their children about pumping water for a bath, drinking out of a dipper, and bathing in the kitchen in a tin tub. Right about now, I'd like to leave gidge-gadgets behind and just spend another day in the country — like it used to be!
